Well, today was my last day of the fast, and I have to say that I am really glad I did it. I had people tell me that they didn’t get why I was doing it and others that encouraged me. Either way, it was something that I knew I had to do, and it just happened to be around lent so it worked out.
The first few weeks were rough, but after that I really began to enjoy it. Like I said in previous posts, it was really about focusing on what was really important. It was about following my instinct about those around me and the things I chose to do with my time. It was about quieting my spirit and my mind to hear God clearer. I made time to take more walks and to be by myself, and in doing so, it worked.
I was reminded that the Holy Spirit really does reside in each of us who has accepted Him and to not listen to our instincts, is really to ignore that spirit. Some people call it a gut feeling, etc. Sometimes we get a feeling about a place or certain people and I believe we have a choice as grown adults who we spend our time with and where we go. Take note: Is our life somehow enriched when we are with certain people, or do they cause discord and strife? Are the places we go encouraging or do they give us a glimpse of shame and darkness? There were many nights I chose to stay home, and there were nights when I chose to go out. Depended on the details, but I can tell you I was happy with the choices made.
I learned to be content with whoever I was with and to enjoy them in the here and now. I lived in the moment. I wasn’t looking around to see who else was in the room or anticipating anything other than the moment I was in. I didn’t care if some guy was pursuing me. I can’t tell you how good that feels.
Since my mind was focused on what I felt God gifted me with already (instead of finding someone), He opened the doors for me and for the first time I was able to put my artwork on display and made some really good friends who have shared interests. I was able to focus on my writing more and therefore felt like I was being obedient. I have always felt called to help others through my writing and until I started this blog in August of 2012 I let fear rule me. No more!
You see I stopped worrying about having a man pursue me because I realized once I stop focusing on it so much, then the universe will bring someone to me some day when I least expect it. I will be busy following whatever path is laid in front of me by the One who lights that path.
So Lord, even though my fast is over, I am no longer full of anxiety about what the future holds, I grasp onto the fact that every day is new with each rising of the sun and I am here to make each day as good as it can be. I know that it is You that pursues my heart and I give it to You freely and I thank you so much for every blessing, no matter how little they may seem to others.