It’s Saturday. Normally I work a second job and I run around like a mad-man getting errands done.
But today I’m not feeling well. My body has said “enough.” My mind has said “ok, I’ll take it easy, BUT just for one day.”
It’s cloudy outside and therefore a good day too stay in my comfies till at least noon. A good morning to actually sit down while drinking a hot spiced chai. A good day to actually pay attention to my sweet tri-color sheltie.
Yes, today I will take it easy without any feelings of guilt.
I would like to share briefly what was discussed in my life group last night because it seems like such a no-brainer, but it is so key to breaking through our fears.
As a group we have been reading Steven Furticks new book “Crash the Chatterbox.” It’s a book about hearing God’s voice above all others( like that self defeating chatterbox we hear in our minds all day).
The main point that I have really been focused on so far is how easy it is to let our “what-if’s” control our lives.
To put it simply, he states that we have to play out those what-if’s in our mind. What if my loved one dies? What if I lose my house? What if I lose my job? Answer those questions to yourself, then realize that God will be there if those things happen. He will help us.
Bottom line, God is bigger than all of those fears. He is bigger than all of our “what-if’s”
I just want to make it clear. I am not on a man fast because I spent so much time being with the wrong, right, or any other type of man. I am on this journey because I noticed how much thought I put into not having one in my life.
That fog that makes me think nothing is possible because I have no help. That fog that makes me think that nothing is enjoyable because I have no one to share life with.
But nothing could be farther than the truth. The fog is clearing. I can see all the things that are possible. I can see my beautiful friends and my irreplaceable children that make my life so complete in so many ways.
I can see clearly that God might just have different plans for me than I had for myself. Perhaps I’m not the failure that I sometimes think I am.
Thank you Lord for giving me your grace and removing the fog so that I can see so much clearer.
I am looking forward to better days with a new attitude. I can’t always be worrying about the looming “what-if’s” that are constantly playing their tune in my head. I must replace them with a solid answer: What if my “what-if’s” come true?
But after answering that question, I must swiftly remind myself that I must believe that whatever happens, God will help me. I realize more and more that there is only so much I really have control over anyway.
I am forcing myself to look forward to whatever life has in store for me. I have realized lately that I have limited myself of the little joys that life can bring , by thinking I don’t deserve this or that, or I don’t have the time or finances to do the things I love. I have begun to take the littlest of steps to make those things happen.
If I feel like taking a painting class, I will pick up the phone and make a plan.
If I feel like traveling with a friend I will look at my budget and see if I can make it work, and if I need to, I will sell something or work more in order to make it happen.
If I know God is calling me into something else than what I am doing I will remember that He will supply me with all that I need.
I will press forward even if I am afraid.
I will press forward even if I feel unqualified.
I will press forward even if I don’t have all of the answers.
My challenge to you: What is it that you are missing out of life? Why not press forward and do it?
Friday night’s…there was a time when I felt like I had to go out on Friday night’s. That time is gone. I have found that over the last year and a half that I have become content just relaxing at home Friday nights.
I am tired from the work week and I need that time just to enjoy my own house and the quiet contained within it.
I miss having a partner to talk to, or sit on the couch with but I have a loving God to consult with and the most comfy bed ever to rest in.
Do you ever notice that when you go on a diet, all you want is more of the food you can’t have? It’s hard to focus on other things when you are focused on what you can’t have. Tell me I can’t have chocolate and I will want some. Show me a “wet paint” sign and I will want to touch it.
Human nature is a funny thing. I have noticed that this whole man-fast idea has forced me to re-direct my thoughts. It’s not that I thought about guys all the time, or the lack of one in my life, but I definitely thought of it more than I realized. I am now focused on what I’m focused on.
Change is hard, but I think once you do it for a prolonged time, it becomes easier and easier. I also think the enemy knows our weaknesses too and tries to distract us. He can put something in front of us that seems irresistible at the time and we backtrack.
But, if we realize what happened, we can quickly get back on track and wipe our brow with relief that we didn’t completely blow it.
p.s. Lord, please help me stay focused on my actions that bring you glory. Help me focus on the goals and assignments you have for my life. I can be weak, but with your help I can be strong.
The weather here in Charlotte has seemed colder and more rainy this season for some reason. Maybe I just notice it more because I am so ready for spring and summer weather.
My spirits are better when the sun is shining. I decided that I definitely could not live in Seattle.
But this morning there’s something else I realized. Without the rain, the pear trees wouldn’t be in bloom right now with their beautiful white flowers. The grass would stay brown and dry. Without the rain, we wouldn’t be able to see beautiful rainbows.
And so it is with our lives; without the rain, we wouldn’t recognize the victories we’ve overcome. Without the rain we wouldn’t appreciate the blessings that have been given to us.
Thankyou Lord for the rain. Help me see through the grey and to see your Son shining through in my life and in the life of those around me.
Ok..today we had a little scare at work. A small electrical fire at work. Firemen came, a lot of them. Note to self…no firemen when on a man fast.
Firemen = visual happiness
P.s…please don’t send the police. That may just send me over the edge.
I wonder what people see when they look at me. Do they judge me from the outside or can they see the inside of me? Do they see my life and think I could do better? Can they see the things that bring me joy or the struggles inside?
Am I too tall or not thin enough for their liking? Is my skin not tanned enough or my teeth not white enough? Perhaps they think my hair isn’t long or thick enough. What is it that people see with their eyes when they look at me?
Am I less of a woman because I do not have a diamond ring on my finger or a man on my arm? I know that I am much more than the outside shell that is on display. I have been hurt, but I hold no bitterness. I grew up feeling like an orphan, yet it made me want to be a better parent to my own children.
My marriage broke apart but it made me realize that nobody is perfect. I have lost loved ones to death, but it taught me to cherish each moment with those around me. I struggle each day, but it makes me rely on God, because He is all I have.
I wish when someone saw me, they could see the inside. I wish they could see the love I have and all that I could give. I wish they could see my heart and the diamonds that I have on the inside.